Monday, December 8, 2014

The Boyfriend/Husband List

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

As I've grown up, I've always loved this verse. This verse talks about Jesus's love for all of us. If we substitute love for His, we get, He is patient, He is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, or self-seeking, He is not easily angered, and He keeps no record of wrongs. He does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. He never fails. 

Now you may read that and say, but He does envy, and I would reply no He doesn't, He wants us to worship Him and love Him, but He doesn't get angry with us when we don't. Then you might say, but He does keep a record of wrongs, which I would reply, in all honesty, He doesn't. When Jesus went on that cross, all our sins were wiped away, we need only to ask for forgiveness and try to stay away from the sin. 

Jesus has shown us how to love, and what true love looks like. The apostle Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 what love is. I've been through a couple of relationships in the past, but none of them were ever self-less on both ends. Either I just wanted to the guy because he was the most popular, or he had some selfish reasons to be in the relationship. It was never what is described here. 

Thinking about my past with boys, and my future with my future husband, I decided a few weeks ago that I needed to make a list. So many people make lists about different things, so what's so special about this list? It holds the standards that I'm going to hold to myself, and my future husband. I've never wanted to share something so bad, but there never was a time like this to really share my husband list. So without further ado, my husband list. 

1. He is patient
I made a "Dear Future Husband" letter a few months back, and in this letter, I asked for patience as I fell into my role as a wife. I'm looking for someone that won't fly off the wall at the first sign of trouble. I know that I will burn dinner, and not have a backup plan, but I also know that with enough practice, I will get it right. I also know, that when we start a family, the kids will be running around and making lots of noise, that's what kids do. I don't want someone who is going to yell constantly because he's watching a game. 

2. He has the same faith
Most people put this first, but I decided against it. Sure it's important, the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" Yes it's important, but at the same time. I don't believe that God would lead us to someone who He feels we need to fix. I believe that if the timing is right in both of our lives, He will bring us together.

3. He is not proud
This one is pretty important to me, because we are called to be humble many times in the Bible. We are supposed to be confident in who we are in Christ, but not so overly confident that we have a mindset that we can do no wrong. I don't want someone to tear me down to build themselves up. A relationship is selfless, not selfish. 

4. He can let things go
I find this one the one that I've had a lot of problems with with past boyfriends. When someone does something wrong, there is always that one person who brings that up to get a laugh out of everyone. I don't want something to go on in our relationship that is totally embarrassing, and he tell everyone to make me look bad. I'm sure he wouldn't want me to do the same, so I don't want him to do such things. 

5. He respects family
We all have those family members, or friends, or coworkers that we don't particularly like. Does that mean that we are rude to them? Or that we talk badly behind their backs? No! I know that whoever my future husband is, that he will be marrying my family, and if I'm not kind to my family, why should he? I'm very loyal to the people that I surround myself with, so I will be very protective of my family when someone has something to say about them. I don't want to constantly have my guard up when we get home from a family function because he's going to have something to say. I think that we will all go through tough times, and that family is there 97% of the time. He should be just as protective of his family as I am of mine. Remember ladies, if he respects his mom and sisters, he will respect you!

6. He is kind to everyone
I know that when we have a bad day, we want to lash out at the world. If you work as a cashier, or something to do with the public, and you've had a bad day. I know that it's easy to just get to the end of the line so you don't have to deal with people anymore. I know we all have those days, but if you strive to be kind, it could turn your day around that fast. I know there are times that we won't get along and that he's going to have to go do something, so instead of lashing out, he will take the good with the bad, and he will make it a mission to try and be as kind as possible to everyone. 

7. He can talk it out
Like I said before, I'm not going to get everything right on the first try. Sometimes I'm going to be upset and forget something, and that may cause some friction in our relationship. I'm okay with that. Couples have to get over bumps to get to the end. I'm not okay with him storming out, and coming back thinking everything is all better. I need to talk things out for my sanity. The saying don't go to bed angry, is something I believe in strongly. 

8. He perseveres
There will be those times where we want to give up, and I know it would be easier, but I also know that it is so rewarding to get over the bump and enjoy the ride until the next one. I know that nothing is ever easy, but I find it so attractive for a man to constantly strive for his relationship. I think it's so attractive for a man to want to be in the relationship so much, that he literally put it before his friends, and even his family. 

9. He is trustworthy
Trust is the key to a relationship. If he isn't showing you that you can trust him, maybe it's time to reevaluate the relationship. 

10. He knows when he's wrong 
I know that many people in today's society would tell you that a confident man is a man that you should be striving for. To a degree, yes it is. You want someone who will take charge and be the leader of his family, but you also want someone who is going to be able to say, "I'm sorry." These are hard words to swallow for anyone, but even more for someone who isn't humble. 

This list is for my future husband, but it's also for me. I can't expect someone to work so hard for a goal if I'm not willing to strive for it either. I encourage you to sit down, and think long and hard about your list. If you do write one, make sure it's reachable, and that you would be willing to evaluate yourself to and make the proper changes. 

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to be his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

Friday, December 5, 2014

His Lamp for My Feet

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.(Psalm 119:105)

A few months after I wrote my last post, I felt myself slipping in my faith. I didn't realize how important it was to be constantly working toward a goal of bettering yourself. I've been able to seek out a new counsel, and find some amazing role models to look up to. Of course there is going to be times that we slip and fall, but to get back up and keep living for Jesus is the greatest thing you can do.

One of those role models are Lauren Demoss who is the founder, and writer, for thefulltimegirl.com. This is an inspirational site for the average girl, with a heart seeking God, and one that has helped me realize many things in my spiritual walk with God.

Another role model is Kristen Dalton Wolfe who is the founder, and one of the many writers, for sheismore.com. Another inspirational site for girls of all ages. This site talks about everything. With so many different authors to read about, I can't imagine someone not finding an amazing role model to keep an eye out for.

Though these lovely ladies have amazing websites that I could probably talk about all day, my biggest pick-me-up in this time of redemption, was the Bible. I've never read the Bible cover to cover, but I've started in August, and the knowledge that I've obtained is so powerful! I never realized how amazing it was to wake up, and spend my morning in God's word. Never did I realize that when it came to temptation, that it was like God tapping me on the shoulder and saying, "Let's go to My Word."

In the past few months, I've had an amazing journey! It's been filled with slips and falls, but know that even when you do make that mistake, God's there. Even when you feel so ashamed, He's there with His hand stretched out saying, "It's okay. Let's try harder next time." Our God is a patient God. He doesn't look down on us with disgust, or shake His head in disappointment. He waits for us to find our way back to Him.

So my challenge for anyone reading this right now is, dive into the word. Start at the beginning of each testament and read as much as you can. Make a certain time of day your Bible time and read. Even when you're tired, read as much as you can to really grasp what Jesus is trying to tell us. I promise it's worth it.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Dear Future Husband...

Dear Future Husband,

I just want to let you know, that I may not know you yet, but I love you with all my heart. I've been praying for a very long time for you, and want you to know, that I will continue to even while we're together. I can't promise I'll do everything right, but I promise I will try my hardest. I can't promise that I won't burn your dinner a few times, or forget to throw your work clothes into the washer, but I promise that you give me time and show me some patience, I will get it right.

I also wanted to tell you, that I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I know it will be the best years of my life, and they will all be spent with you. You are the person The Lord sent to me, and I know that some days we're going to disagree, and others we'll agree on everything. It won't be easy, but with the love with have for each other, and with the Lord's help, we will get through everything and become stronger.

I cannot wait to meet you, and get to know you. I cannot wait to start a life together, and I hope you know that I think about you everyday, and hope I am the woman that you pray for. I love you so much, and pray for you every single day.

Yours Truly,
Your Future Wife

Friday, April 4, 2014

Growing Up Pretty

"Your beauty should not come for the outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of the gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." -1 Peter 3:3-4

Growing up, I looked around at all the older women walking down the street or in the mall, and I wanted to be just like them.

Wearing high heels, and dressing up in pretty dresses, and putting on make-up.

One thing that the world never taught me, it's okay to be yourself. It's a sad culture we live in nowadays, where girls are starving themselves because they can't fit into that size two dress they found at the mall. Or, that people are feeling so bad about what they don't have that they dive deep into a depression that they can't survive in.

I'm here to say that I've been one of those girls. I see these gorgeous women gracing the covers of magazines, or walking around with big diamond rings and wearing expensive brands. Needless to say, I wasn't ever happy with the way I looked, or the way my clothes looked on my body. I tried so hard to push past the insecurity, but it always seemed to follow me around like the cloud of depression in the Abilify commercial.

I didn't enjoy going shopping because you always had to get those ''bigger sizes'', and I didn't want any of my friends to see my clothes because I thought they would think they were way to big. In reality, I was right on target with how a normal girl should grow up. I was an great size in my doctor's eyes and to some of the boys, I was even pretty. So why was I so hung up on my outward appearance, when it was okay?

Answer: The world has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it.

The magazines displayed all around showed half naked women and men that have been photoshopped, or touched up and made into something that they're not.

Newsflash! Not all men are going to look like David Beckham, and not all women are going to look like Kim Kardashian. (Sorry, not sorry) So why put yourself through the trials to look like these people? Because the world says that's what we're supposed to look like.

I'll be honest, I look at those magazines as I near the check out for the grocery store, and roll my eyes at some of the covers.

The Lord tells us our body is a ''temple'' used for His work. That means that when we have to take care of ourselves yes, but that also means not to belittle ourselves by looking at the half dressed men and women of the world and comparing us to them. That hurts Him because no matter what you may look like, you are His child and He loves you.

And when He says our bodies, He means our whole body. Everything from the top of your hair to the ball of your foot.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." -1 Corinthians 10:31

We aren't perfect people, we don't all have small waists, and the prettiest hair, but that's the way the Lord made all of us. He made us in His image, not in ours. While we live in the body we live in, we should take care of it, but we shouldn't criticize it. We have to learn to love ourselves before we can ever love anyone else.

So I challenge you to look in the mirror whenever you get a chance, and take a really really good look at yourself. List five things you love about you. That could be that you have amazing abs , or you love the way your eyes light up in certain lights, whatever they are, write them down and hang them up somewhere where you will see them every single day. As you find more continue to write them down, but remember

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up." -James 4:10