Do I choose to please me or please someone else?
This is one of the start up questions to this chapter, and one that I find myself asking myself constantly. The problem is, I answer without really thinking about it, and the answer is almost always about me. I like to think that I make choices that benefit someone else, and they might in some way, but the truth is that they benefit myself more than anyone else.
I've always seen love as a romance thing, or family thing, and never really a universal thing. I've never looked at someone and said, "They are my brother or sister in Christ, and I love them!" I've never seen strangers as anything but that, strangers.
In this chapter, it talks about the many types of love that we will encounter in our lives. The first being Eros love. Eros love is the one we see in movies, the one that friends tell us about when they have a new boyfriend that makes them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Eros, or erao, is the Greek word for intense or passionate love. This is the type of love that lasts for a little while, but doesn't really have any lasting substance in our lives. These feelings are powerful, and also a selfish love. This is a love that is me-centered, or when you ask yourself, "What can this person do for me? Or how does this person make me feel or look?" When you get over the "honeymoon" stage of this kind of relationship, the happiness and excitement dies out. Then the relationship follows close behind.
The second love it talks about is Storgeo love. Storgeo love is a love that comes naturally. It's the love that we have for our family.
The third love this chapter talks about is Phileo love. Phileo love is a friendship kind of love. The love that you know you have for your best friend because she's so cool, creative, funny, spontaneous, etc.
The fourth, and biggest, love that this chapter explains is Agape love. Agape love is the kind of love that we all are striving for. It's the love that we read about in the fruit-of-the-spirit list, and it truly stands apart from any other kinds of love. Agape is not shallow, or self-seeking, it's not wrapped up in the physical or emotional feelings. It asks, "What can I do for the other person?"
"In agape, I deliberately make a decision to love another person, to value him not because of anything that person has done or can do for me but simply because that person is precious. I choose to prize him, to be devoted to, appreciate, and respect that human." From Lynn Cowell's "Magnetic"
Agape love is the love that the Father has shown us by sending His son to die for our sins. He could have said, "They're just going to sin anyway, this isn't worth it." He didn't though! He loves us so much, that He sent his perfect son in our place of punishment. Love can't get anymore unselfish then that!
Love doesn't just give up either. There are going to be many trials in life, there are going to be times where you ask God, "Why?" But the thing is, nothing can tear us away from our perfect Father. Take a look at Romans 8:37-39, it explains just that.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:37-39)
As we being our walk of faith, it's not going to easy to love everyone we come into contact with. Nor is it going to be easy to take the high road when someone wrongs us. But it's what God calls us to do. He says to forgive as He has forgiven, and that's just one of the many ways to show agape love to someone.
I encourage you this month, to ask God how you can better show agape love in your life. Ask God for guidance as you go through the struggles of learning to love, and listen for His still small voice in your life. As you go through this journey this year, just know I'm going through it too! Here's a link to my Twitter, so if you ever need anything, just ask.